Every minute is precious, but I just want this night to end, you ungrateful, miserable creature allowing this black cloud to descend. So much hype about this day, this night, it must be the most exciting yet, what do you have to look forward to this year, your looming death? 2018 in your face, will it be etched on your headstone, death just might be the easy bit when you face this relentless ride alone. Let it be over, let it end, let there be…Continue Reading “New Years eve”
People don’t always know what to say when it comes to death and grief and serious illness. Sometimes you need to help them out a bit, acknowledge the elephant in the room, break the ice. Sure where would we be without a bit of humor. Then there are some things said that kind of defy belief . I may look ok on the outside, but I’m rotting away on the inside. I said this in jest quite often before I was diagnosed, referring to my…Continue Reading “shut your mouth when you’re talking……”
Nasty little bug going round. Aches everywhere that didn’t already, dirty cough, and sure throw in a bit of puking for good measure😩Enough drugs to kill a small army. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO STAY OUT OF HOSPITAL😔
I’m not posting this for sympathy or applause, but so I might continue to live and so we might stop losing our loved ones. Awareness and early detection is not enough. 3 years ago I posted this on facebook. Since then I have had a mastectomy and a port inserted cos my veins are now rubbish. I’ve had another 9 cycles of chemo and two other treatments that didn’t work. There is damage to my right lung, possibly a side effect of the radiotherapy that is…Continue Reading “5 years living with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer.”
December 2012 Following a triple assessment was Diagnosed with Hormone positive, Her2 Negative breast cancer, with a 5cm Tumor in the right breast. Jan/February 2013 Following a bone scan and CT assisted Biop confirmed Stage IV with bone Mets March 2013 Started Hormone Treatment consisting of Zometa infusion ( for the Bones), Zoladex implant ( to stop the production of estrogen which is feeding my cancer, putting me into forced menopause) and Tamoxifen which blocks the action of estrogen. September 2013 Cancer progression to the…Continue Reading “My cancer timeline”
Today I went to the hospital to get my scan results. Considering how much pain I’ve been having I really expected progression, change of treatment, or maybe even worse. My oncologist called my name with a smile on her face. Oh my god she’s smiling.” You’re smiling”, I said.”Hi how are you, happy christmas”, she said, still smiling. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am to have the amazing Dr Miriam O’Connor fighting my corner. She fought for 3 months to get…Continue Reading “Results ‘Happy Christmas’”
Maybe I am extra sensitive, it’s not like it’s anything new, but I am absolutely furious. I’m sitting in the foyer of Waterford hospital waiting for my doc having had bloods and an xray to see whats going on with all this pain. All I can see are people gathering in front of the very large SMOKE FREE CAMPUS sign and lighting up. I find it so upsetting, so disrespectful, It’s right at the bloody entrance. Patients can’t even go outside for some fresh air….Continue Reading “Smoke free campus, yeah right…….”
I’ve learned a lot in the last few years living with metastatic breast cancer.Watching people you love succumb to the disease which will eventually steal your life is both devastating and terrifying. Having lost 4 friends to cancer this summer I’ve learned that no matter how difficult it is, for me being there is hugely important.Travelling the road and sharing the journey, no matter how heartbreaking has enriched my life and lead to the most beautiful memories. One of my friends died while I was…Continue Reading “Breathe”
I went to see my Radio Onc consultant this morning, thinking he’d say I didn’t need to be zapped just yet. But unfortunately he didn’t, they want to do a bit of spot welding on my upper and lower spine fairly soon. Side effects from radiotherapy can be substantial. I still don’t know if my lung and heart issues last year were due to the radiotherapy I had on my breast, but nobody is denying it’s possible. Damned if you do and damned if you…Continue Reading “Zapped again”
