People don’t always know what to say when it comes to death and grief and serious illness. Sometimes you need to help them out a bit, acknowledge the elephant in the room, break the ice. Sure where would we be without a bit of humor. Then there are some things said that kind of defy belief .
I may look ok on the outside, but I’m rotting away on the inside.
I said this in jest quite often before I was diagnosed, referring to my biological clock and the fact that I was often considered much younger than my years. Shit!
If you have to get cancer it’s one of the best ones to get.
Said by the same nurse who stared me out of it while I waited to go in and get my results.
It will only be 6 months, a year max of your life.
Said by the same nurse, when I was initially diagnosed.
The good news is it’s not a vital organ.
Said by the same nurse when she rang me to say they had found something on my bone scan.
At least now you’ll have the figure you always wanted.
Yep said to me on initial diagnosis by a ‘friend’.
Sure you’ll hardly need walking boots now.
Said by a family member at initial diagnoses as I discussed my list of things to do/buy.
Jesus, I don’t have forever, pick a bloody wine.
Said by me to one of my lovely friends on a night out when he was taking forever to choose a wine having taken forever to pick a bar. We laughed and he forgave me, I think.
Ah sure it’s not everyday you get cancer.
Said by a friend after I (newly diagnosed) protest that my friends keep paying for everything and it’s not my birthday.
Well she got a fist full of tumor.
Said by me to my companion having been frisked at the airport. We were buckled over laughing and looked very suspicious.
Wow, cancer suits you.
Said by a friend after I changed my diet and lifestyle, lost over two stone and looked and felt better than I had in years.
I guess thats a blow job out of the question then!
Said by a very cheeky old friend when I told him I was raw vegan, after he commented on how well I looked.
Not today love, Catherine doesn’t have much time!
Said innocently by my friend to her young daughter soon after I was diagnosed. She winced when she realised and I couldn’t help but laugh at her.
Jasus. you seem fierce happy abou it.
Said to me by a neighbour after I very matter-of-factly told her my situation 2 years in.
Ah jasus, I have terminal cancer, I’m not too bothered about a broken pinky.
Said by me to an Orthopaedic consultant when he told me I had a serious fracture to my finger that would require extensive treatment.